Free Lunch

I've been watching a hornet build a nest this week under our hose hanger in our front yard. I'm too scared to knock it down.

Maybe I could hire a hit man.

Enter freaky albino spider (and his hot girlfriend, who is already in his web--look closely). Just one misstep from the hornet and those two spiders are gonna have date night at El Hornet Ristorante every night this week.

The Last Person in America

I made a batch of Sponge Candy this afternoon for the very first time.

Actually that's a lie. I made it for the second time, because the first time I made it I didn't mix the baking soda in properly. There were pockets of undissolved baking soda throughout the batch.

From a quick survey of the internet, it appears that I am the very last person in America to try sponge candy. There are millions of websites and several Facebook groups devoted entirely to the love of sponge candy.

How did I miss this stuff?

It's easy as sin to make, and the results are a sugary, toffee, melt in your mouth crunchy treat. Before I made it, I thought that Sponge Candy got it's name from it's spongy texture. No. It actually looks like a sponge when you break it open. Plus you can dip it in chocolate. How cool is that, ladies?

Try it out:

Sponge Candy

1 cup sugar
1 cup dark corn syrup
1 Tbs. white vinegar
1 Tbs. baking soda

Directions:

Line a 9-by-13 baking pan with foil and spray with non-stick spray. In a large saucepan (at least 3 quarts) combine sugar, dark corn syrup and white vinegar. Cook, stirring constantly, until sugar is dissolved.

Insert candy thermometer and cook to 300 degrees (hard crack stage). Remove from heat, sprinkle with baking and stir very quickly, making sure it's evenly combined. The mixture will bubble and expand.

Pour into prepared pan. Do not spread, as mixture will spread itself. Cool.

When candy is thoroughly cooled,turn pan over and tap it to loosen candy. Break into pieces. Makes 16 pieces (but really more like 16 big pieces and 3278 broken chards).

Just Me and the Chicks

My parents never let me have a puppy. (Insert pout here.)

My parents did, however, let me keep a little goldfish that I won at the Flowertown Elementary carnival when I was six years old. I named the goldfish "Spunky."

Then our family went on vacation for a few days to Atlanta, Georgia. My parents accidentally forgot to make proper arrangements for a pet sitter to take care of Spunky, and when we arrived back home, Spunky was sideways.

So, forget the fish. Forget the puppy. I'm all grown up and I can have whatever pet I want. After all, I clothe, feed and care for four children. And everyone knows that kids are way-hey-hey harder to take care of than a goldfish.

I want a chicken. I want two or three or four. (Ok, Josh, just three!) I want to raise them from tiny chicks so I can hear them go "peep! peep! peep!" I want to be like Cinderella in that scene where she's singing and throwing chicken feed to the chickens and they all swarm around her like she's a rock star. I want to take a darling little wicker basket lined with a fat quarter of quilting fabric to collect eggs in the morning. I want my children to clean out the coop so they can grow up to be hard-working, chicken-fearing adults.

Current zoning ordinances in my city don't allow chickens to be within 50 feet of my house or a neighbor's house. (Sure, those big, mean black birds can poop all over my car and terrorize my children, but cute li'l chickies can't roam freely in my yard?)

Can we change the 50 foot rule? My city councilman said that there is someone "working on it." I'm trying to go through all the proper channels to change the zoning ordinance. It may even take up to a year.

In the mean time, I'm going to keep in touch with my councilman, write letters to the mayor and start sewing a darling little ruffled apron to wear when I feed the chickies.

Other Projects

After living one month well below the poverty line, I'm ready for a posting frenzy.

As many of you know, I spent the month of January 2009 living below the federal poverty line for a family of six. This was a fun experiment that proved that you can live below the poverty line without government or family assistance. We budgeted in everything from high-speed internet to fabulous dinners. It was a true test of my title, "Home Economist." Now that we're back to living on a normal income, it's time to get back to my glamorous life as a Modern American Housewife.

Here are my current projects:
1. Sewing handbags for friends and family gifts
2. Finding uses for okara (the leftover pulp from making soymilk)
3. Making soymilk
4. Finishing up our years supply of food (it can be done!)
5. Altering our chore routine (no dinner until chores are done)
6. Baking bread, granola, and culturing yogurt

This list explains why I have zero friends. Who wants to have a playdate with someone whose most pressing question is "What else can I mix okara into without my family knowing?" Besides, I stink at playdates.

I'll be posting a link to an interview I had recently on the Natural Moms Talk Radio. It's all about homemaking and being a homemaker. Stay tuned!

Way Off Target

Target made it to my list of "Top 2 Places to Never Buy Clothes From Again." Again, for those of you who haven't seen my list:

1. Walmart
2. Target

Here's my story:

I bought four pair of Target's nice $12, no-stain, extra sturdy khakis for my 6 year old. The pants were worn only a few times (since he mostly wore shorts this summer).

One little pair had a clasp fall off.
One little pair had a rip in the bum.
One little pair had holes in the knees.
One little pair had holes by the pockets.

Now, I know my son is active, but this hasn't happened to his other pants that he wears.

Tell me this, ladies: Does it make more sense to buy four pair of crappy Target pants, or two good pair of Land's End or Gap pants.

What are your thoughts on the quality of Target's clothing? Have you had good experiences or bad? Do you buy mostly for quality or price?

72 Hour Kits for Kids

Earthquake. Urban unrest. Flooding. Chemical leak. A big ol' bomb.

Who knows if any of those disasters will happen where you live. But if they do, you can go to one of those sites like www.end-of-days-emergency-kit-rip-off-supply.com and stock up on $89 waterproof 10,000 calorie energy bars. And be sure to buy a black flag so your neighbors won't loot your stuff.

After you've done that, it's time to get real. You'll probably be fine with a backpack full of pork 'n' beans, bottled water and a deck of playing cards (Hint: They can double as TP). Survival, my friends, is not pretty.

Mommy and Daddy have the official 72 hour pack. It's got food for the fam, water, matches and all the other things our family will need if we have to evacuate. But the kids each have their own 72 hour kit, so they can have a little more control in a situation where we may not know what's going to happen next. Good idea? It's my mom's.

Each kids' 72 hour pack contains:

1. Change of clothes. They're in a gallon ziplock bag. Be sure to update each year. Kids grow fast! We packed long sleeve shirts, pants, socks, undies, and six diapers (for age 5 and under).
   
2. Snacks. Mommy and Daddy have the real food, but the kids will have control over their snacks. We packed Powerbars, fruit snacks, beef jerky, and Emergen-Cs for them.
   
3. Water. With a sport cap, just in case the bottle tips over.
   
4. Emergency phone numbers. We put our home, cell, work, and both grandparents. If you have any relative living out of state, put their number on the list, too. Seal it in a ziplock bag or laminate it.
   
5. Family picture. If your children are separated from you, a family picture may help calm them or help authorities locate you if you're separated. Be sure to put your address and phone number on the back of the picture.
   
6. Book. My friend Michelle, who just survived the hurricane in Texas, said that it was very boring while the power was out. No email. No internet. No games. But lots of time to read.
   
7. Wind-up flashlight. Kids will love winding it, and it won't matter if they sleep with it on all night. They cost between $8-10.
   
8. Small toy. A soft doll, a toy car, colored pencils and notepad...anything imaginative.
   
9. Purell or baby wipes. Good for lots of things.
   
10. Money. Each pack has $5. I have no idea what they'll do with the money, but it's another layer of security.
    
11. Fleece blanket. Fleece blankets are the closest thing to a mother's love.
    
12. Mother's love. Write a little love note and seal it in an envelope. Cute!!
13. FM radio. These are at the dollar store all the time, in lots of cool colors, too. They even come with batteries.
    

These packs aren't meant to save your child's life--they're just meant to make a hard time a little bit easier.

You've heard the saying "If Mamma ain't happy..."? Let me put it in perspective, "If your power is out, the toilets won't flush, your neighborhood is forced to evacuate, it smells like a gas line broke, and your kids aren't happy..."

Ain't nobody gonna be happy.

Good luck with your preparedness!

Sunflower Farmer's Market

Tired of paying (insert insanely high prices here) for red peppers, avocados, celery, apples, onions, spinach, chicken, lamb, pork, etc?

Homemakers of the Rockies, rejoice! There's a new natural foods store on the scene called Sunflower Farmer's Market. And I love it.

Their motto is "Serious Food...Silly Prices." Por ejemplo:

1. Grapefruit 10/$1
2. Asparagus $.99/lb.
3. Avocados 3/$1
4. Gala apples $.39/lb
   
5. Red bell pepper 2/$1
6. Lamb $3.99/lb
7. Boneless skinless chicken $1.59/lb
   
8. And it goes on and on...

The unique thing about this grocery store is that they overlap ads. So last week's ad ends tomorrow, but the new ad starts today. I get to buy cheap asparagus and avocados. And I've never spent more than $50 for a week's worth of meat and produce. (That's even including a bottle of Odwalla for the ride home).

Sunflower Farmer's Market is a natural foods store, so you'll find tons of great deals on other natural products like organic dairy, bulk grains/nuts, and breads. The store has a relatively small footprint so I can get my shopping done way faster (and cheaper) than El Big Box Store.

Currently they have locations in Utah, Colorado, Arizona, Nevada, New Mexico and Texas. If you have one near you, go check it out.

If you'd like to have a location near you, give Sunflower Farmer's Market a call: (866) 890-8949