If I had a job that paid
real money and took me out of the home away from my children and husband, I would spend the money on stupid, stupid, stupid things. Here is what I would do with my mega-hoooge paycheck:
1.
Put fancy streaks in my hair, dye it 3 shades lighter or darker and trim it every six weeks. I'd also get one of those angled bob haircuts that I could roundbrush and shellac. Bam! I gots to finish the look with pretty mani and pedis, 'cause I'm a workin' girl. I deserve it!
2.
Buy darling dresses, trendy leggings and runway knock-off shoes for my daughter. Maybe even from a store like El Gap or Ye Olde Navy. And dress her in all the cutesy trimmings that I couldn't afford before I became a workin' girl. Thank goodness I have a dress-up daughter! (Or I'd have to buy a baby doggie!)
3.
Go on get-away trips to my timeshare condo with my husband. And be gone prolly most weekends. Thanks grammie for watchin' the kids. Grammies are the best. (I only love her 'cause she watches the kids all the time. j/k, Grammie--you know I lurve you and not just 'cause you're a free babysitter!)
4.
Eat out more so I'd get a nice squishy workin' mom rear end. I'd also buy way more stuff from the freezer section of Costco cause I sure won't have time or energy to make dinner ('cause I'm a workin' girl, remember?) ;) (That winkie is for Bev who does samples at Costco in the freezer section.)
5.
Totally get into scrapbooking. Don't care how much it costs--all I care is that it's cute. And I'd totally make a girl-style man cave for all my scrappie-doodle-doo stuff. I don't even scrapbook, I just want all the stuff in cute little drawers with ribbon on spindles and paper in cubbies.
6.
Buy every new Disney/Pixar movie and non-violent (but maybe a few violent ones if I forget my rule) video game for my kids.
7.
Redecorate with a little stuff from cheap (but not too cheap) stores like Target, IKEA, Pier 1 and maybe an antique store that my hubby and I will stumble across on one of our timeshare getaways. (Found a super cute vintage tractor sign to hang in my boy's room--he LOVES tractors.)
8.
Buy a new car that's a good deal. Cars that are cute are like an investment in who I am and what I want people to think about me. Like one of those teeny cars that gets super-cute gas mileage and has a horn that goes "Beep! Beep!" Light blue or red. Hmmmm, no way, light blue fer sher!! Car payments are going to be totally affordable, cause I'm a workin' girl! Woot woot! Beep! Beep! Wink!
And if anyone asked me why I don't stay at home I'd just do a little pouty face and say in my baby voice "I weally, weally wish I could, but unfortunately I just
can't. We can't afford it."
***
Or how about this? Mothers who work,
come home. Go back to your natural hair color, make a healthy dinner, be thrifty,
let your man provide, and be happy with
what you have.
I promise that you'll be glad you did.
P.S. Want to be a stay-at-home mom, but
can't afford it? I can show you how. I've done it for ten years on one income (even through schooling), no selling plasma, make-up or scented candles. It requires planning and committment. I challenge any mother who is working outside the home (or thinking about it) to contact me. I will help you put together a plan that will save your marriage, save your family and save your sanity. It's time to come home.