Door-to-Door Salesfolk (A True Story)

(Ding-dong)

Guy on Front Porch: Hi! I'm selling house alarm systems.
Me: Goodbye.

(Next day) (Ding-dong)

New Guy on Front Porch: Hi! I'm selling magic cleaner spray.
Me: Goodbye.

(Next day) (Ding-dong)

Kid on Front Porch: Hi! I'm selling overpriced wrapping paper so the PTA can continue to promote it's agenda all under the guise of "education for kids!"
Me: Goodbye.

(Next day) (Ding-dong)

Woman with son: (in broken English) You like buy tamale? Twelve for ten dollar? They hot. Six chicken. Six pork.
Me: Mmmmm....tamales. Let me grab some money.

(Later that evening)

Me: I love tamales.