Monday, May 10, 2010

Stay at Home, Moms!

If I had a job that paid real money and took me out of the home away from my children and husband, I would spend the money on stupid, stupid, stupid things. Here is what I would do with my mega-hoooge paycheck:

1. Put fancy streaks in my hair, dye it 3 shades lighter or darker and trim it every six weeks. I'd also get one of those angled bob haircuts that I could roundbrush and shellac. Bam! I gots to finish the look with pretty mani and pedis, 'cause I'm a workin' girl. I deserve it!

2. Buy darling dresses, trendy leggings and runway knock-off shoes for my daughter. Maybe even from a store like El Gap or Ye Olde Navy. And dress her in all the cutesy trimmings that I couldn't afford before I became a workin' girl. Thank goodness I have a dress-up daughter! (Or I'd have to buy a baby doggie!)

3. Go on get-away trips to my timeshare condo with my husband. And be gone prolly most weekends. Thanks grammie for watchin' the kids. Grammies are the best. (I only love her 'cause she watches the kids all the time. j/k, Grammie--you know I lurve you and not just 'cause you're a free babysitter!)

4. Eat out more so I'd get a nice squishy workin' mom rear end. I'd also buy way more stuff from the freezer section of Costco cause I sure won't have time or energy to make dinner ('cause I'm a workin' girl, remember?) ;) (That winkie is for Bev who does samples at Costco in the freezer section.)

5. Totally get into scrapbooking. Don't care how much it costs--all I care is that it's cute. And I'd totally make a girl-style man cave for all my scrappie-doodle-doo stuff. I don't even scrapbook, I just want all the stuff in cute little drawers with ribbon on spindles and paper in cubbies.

6. Buy every new Disney/Pixar movie and non-violent (but maybe a few violent ones if I forget my rule) video game for my kids.

7. Redecorate with a little stuff from cheap (but not too cheap) stores like Target, IKEA, Pier 1 and maybe an antique store that my hubby and I will stumble across on one of our timeshare getaways. (Found a super cute vintage tractor sign to hang in my boy's room--he LOVES tractors.)

8. Buy a new car that's a good deal. Cars that are cute are like an investment in who I am and what I want people to think about me. Like one of those teeny cars that gets super-cute gas mileage and has a horn that goes "Beep! Beep!" Light blue or red. Hmmmm, no way, light blue fer sher!! Car payments are going to be totally affordable, cause I'm a workin' girl! Woot woot! Beep! Beep! Wink!

And if anyone asked me why I don't stay at home I'd just do a little pouty face and say in my baby voice "I weally, weally wish I could, but unfortunately I just can't. We can't afford it."


Or how about this? Mothers who work, come home. Go back to your natural hair color, make a healthy dinner, be thrifty, let your man provide, and be happy with what you have.

I promise that you'll be glad you did.

P.S. Want to be a stay-at-home mom, but can't afford it? I can show you how. I've done it for ten years on one income (even through schooling), no selling plasma, make-up or scented candles. It requires planning and committment. I challenge any mother who is working outside the home (or thinking about it) to contact me. I will help you put together a plan that will save your marriage, save your family and save your sanity. It's time to come home.


Fiona said...

Thank you for this post!
I think that it all comes down to whether or not you want to rely on the arm of flesh, or if you want the Lord to fight your battles for you. I have seen miracles happen since choosing to follow the counsel of the last four prophets and be the homemaker Heavenly Father wants me to be.
It is not easy, but the payoff is amazing. It has blessed my marriage, my children, helped me become a real adult that can work hard, and helped me rely on the arm of the Lord. If you fight his battles, he will fight yours.

Elizabeth said...

You are the best! Thanks for the healthy reminder that "stupid, stupid, stupid stuff" is simply that. There truly is more to life than having everything you think you want.

Carrie said...

I am a working mom because we honestly can't afford for me to stay at home. I find your post offensive. Not everyone that works is stupid and careless with their money. We are able to pay our bills and save money for emergencies and our daughter's future. We eat out once a week. I use coupons. I cut back on my hours at work so my daughter is only in daycare for 6 hours instead of 9. I practice Attachment Parenting and love my daughter more than anything in the world. And if God forbid anything ever happened to my husband, I will have a job and an income to take care of our daughter. I suggest you not be so judgmental and perhaps not be the stereotypical stay-at-home mom and assume that working moms are selfish and heartless and WANT to be away from their kids. I hate being at work every day, but it's life and you do the best you can. I heard about your blog on the Natural Moms podcast and was excited to read it until I found this post. I am very disappointed and offended with what I found.