Too Poor for Butter, Too Smart for Margarine

Most of my blog stalkers, groupies and followers fall into the "Too Poor for Butter, Too Smart for Margarine" category. When they see butter on a 2/$5 sale, they buy as many as they think they'll need until the next sale comes around again. Their freezers make room, at the expense of ice cubes, boo-boo bunnies, and freezer-burnt frozen peas, for boxes and boxes of butter-on-sale.

These same people who savor the flavor of cubed and quartered cow's gold, also rightly turn up their noses at the Gold 'n' Soft, $.59/lb. fool's gold. Yes'm, margarine looks like the real thing, but it ain't no substitute fer real butter. I couldn't agree more.

I'm about to say something shocking.

Please don't click away.

You can make your own "margarine." Really, I mean, a "buttery, reduced-fat spread." (At this point I've already lost the respect of true disciples of butter...)

Chillax, and let's make homemade, healthy margarine! It's a great way to economize when butter's expensive. This Buttery, Reduced-Fat Spread spreads well, takes advantage of butter's super powers, and it's a wee bit healthier than straight butter.

Buttery, Reduced-Fat Spread (a.k.a. Margarine!)

1 cup butter/2 sticks (that's a good start...)
1/2 cup olive oil (not extra virgin, that's too strong!)
1/2 cup water
1/2 tsp. kosher salt (I just like being kosher sometimes)

Put the butter in a food processor. Process it until it's creamy and smooth. Then, with the processor on, drizzle the olive oil. Then drizzle the water. Then add the salt. Turn off the processor, scoop the buttery, reduced-fat spread into a bowl, and chillax. Oh, and stick this spread in the fridge, covered.

You can spread it on toast, waffles, and baby bottoms. (I've even used it as a wrinkle cream!)

(Just kidding!)

(Actually, I'm not!)